Loving people is harder than we think

Photo Credit: Gisella Klein via Flickr

Photo Credit: Gisella Klein via Flickr

Humans are strange. Our mouths talk faster than our hearts can keep up.

We say we love people. We say we accept them. And then, don’t.

Urgh. We can be as frustrating as they come.

Love is the hardest to practice here on Earth. And no, it’s not dreaming. It’s not even having faith. But love. That’s tough.

The thing that makes it hard is that it’s not all “talk”. It’s about – accepting, forgiving, caring, passion, suffering, risking, respect – and all the tough inexplicable terms you’d find in the dictionary. Those super-scary words.

When loving people gets tough, keep loving. That’s all we can do. And hey, loving people is ugly and messy. It’s okay.  Because love’s worth it. Every bit of it.

Just ask Jesus.

It’s a good thing we don’t forget

Photo Credit: Victor Bezrukov via Flickr

Photo Credit: Victor Bezrukov via Flickr

As humans, we have limited vision. Limited perspectives. And we mostly never forget “things”. That’s the thing with our memories. We don’t forget the good stuff and the bad stuff.

As much as I don’t want to remember the painful memories of my past, I’ve realized over the years why it’s a good thing we do remember.

Our memories do not, and should not serve self pity. But a greater purpose, especially as our stories unfold.

The next time you’re tempted to throw a pity party for yourself over bad memories, just know that they service as a reference point for praise. Those moments when you’re tempted to be bitter about distasteful memories, just know that you’ve come further than you ever imagined you would.

When we change our perspectives to look at memories that way, life makes a whole lot of sense. You begin to see the beauty. Life won’t look like a series of painful moments but rather a whole lot of turnaround moments.

You’re alive. You’re well. You’ve lived to see another day. You’ve fought well. That’s what matters. And those memories? Well, instead of wishing them away, embrace the broken moments of your story, thank the God who brought you out and note how far you’ve come.

Will the real you please stand up?

I can think of a couple of instances when I’ve jumped the bandwagon of people pleasing. In fact, the people-pleasing went to the extent of not being true to who I really am.

Has that ever happened to you? Like when you pretend to be someone you’re not? If so, then I’m sure you’d agree that, that pretension doesn’t last long. In other words, it’s more short lived than anything.

Have you also observed that we tend to be more pretentious to the outside world? We save the not-so-great version of ourselves for the home environment. Why is that? Now, don’t give me that I’m-at-home-therefore-I-can-act-the-way-I-want excuse or people-don’t-“get”-and-accept-the-real-me excuse. That’s just us grasping at straws.

While I don’t think we need to be brutally honest at all times and to all people, I do believe we need to be as genuine as we can.

Like much of life, we need to strike a balance with regard to honesty.

Truth is, genuineness though goes a long way. It points to the fact that we’re “making an effort” to grow. It points out to the fact that willing to be real and vulnerable. It points out to the fact we’re human and mouldable. In short, faking it isn’t of much help to us in the long run.

And faking it certainly doesn’t help in character-building. Within or outside the home.

We need to make a practice of practical honesty. We need to make a practice of acceptance. We need to make a practice of vulnerability. Even in leadership.

So, what does the world really need? Genuineness. So, will the real you please stand up?

The best way to show someone you care

Just show up.

We tend to complicate love. Don’t.

All you need to do is show that you care.

So, just show up.

And maybe, that’s all you can do. But that speaks a million times louder than our words anyway.

So, just show up.