Stop judging people

We see someone falter, we judge.

We see someone give up, we judge.

We see someone struggle, we judge.

We hear half the story, we judge.

There’s a reason why judging isn’t any good. I think we judge because we forget. No, really. I mean that.

We forget we are just as human as that person. We forget our own failings, weaknesses and shortcomings. We forget the plank in our eyes.

Wanna hear something quintessentially human? 

Judgments can be made in as quick as a snap.

We don’t know them. Or their story. We probably just met them then. But we judge. And call it first impression.

We’re funny that way. And mean.

Really, what good does it do?

We’ve all missed knowing someone absolutely incredible this way. I say, it’s time to take some intentional steps. I love what Bob Goff said, “Just go love everybody without agenda”.

Let’s stop judging. Let’s start loving.

Don’t take it personally

Sometimes, I think we’re more touchy than we let on. We easily get offended. Think of it.

Personally, I don’t like the idiom ‘don’t take it personally‘. Because it’s usually accompanied by something personal, most times. It’s a lot like beating around the bush for me.

When I think of the amount hurt we hold onto…I hold onto…it’s scary. But that’s the only time I allow myself to hold on to the words, don’t take it personally.

I love my mind in hurtful moments. It sends that reminder to my heart each time pain tempts me. Not every offense or careless word needs to remain lodged in my system. It only remains there and rots, if I allow it. It’s as dangerous as cancer. That’s how it works.

Sometime, we have to just swallow the hurt, learn from the mistake or the experience and not take things so personally.

Someone hurt you today? Don’t take it personally.
Someone was rude to you? Don’t take it personally.
You didn’t make that cut? Don’t take it personally.
Someone didn’t acknowledge you? Don’t take it personally.
Failed at something? Don’t take it personally.

This ‘don’t take it personally’ can be more sensitive than it’s made out to be. Give it a shot by reminding your heart of that today. I’m guessing, it needs to hear that more often than you think.

How you end matters, matters

They call it closure. I’m beginning to understand why it’s a good thing. And what makes it so imperative for the healing process and progress. We literally cannot move forward until we close certain doors behind us.

I’ve been out of the typical work environment for a few months now. It’s been refreshing and insightful. And quite reflective. In that frame of mind, I was visiting my last workplace a few days before.

I realized something.

I never said thanks to that fellow colleague there. It’s not like me to be ungrateful. If you know me, you would know that I shower thank-yous often. But I never said thank you in this case.

That colleague taught me much. It wasn’t always easy. Especially at that time. That colleague was a dose of reality and humility early on, on my path of dreaming. That colleague was quite what I needed at that time. Except I didn’t realize that until recently.

I made time to meet that colleague that day. I didn’t waste time. I said thank you.

I think we both were relieved. Unburdened, even. I never quite realized how much I was holding onto those tiny hurts, disappointments and my ego.

5336837806_3e82ff1446_oPhoto Credit: Stephen Nakatani via Flickr

What I loved most about this experience was the way it ended. It exuded healing. It ended perfectly. It ended maturely. It left a good aftertaste.

That settled. I was free to move on. That thank you changed my life that instance.

Dreamer, ending matters helps. But that’s only one aspect of closure. How you end them matters matters more.

The big picture and small steps

It’s really nice having a big over-arching goal to work towards. Personally, I’ve seen how it has helped me with the muddle of the everyday. I love to call that big goal, the big picture. It usually goes beyond a dream job or an ideal circumstance, it’s more of a life goal of what you want to be known for. Or what you’d want your epitaph to read (no kiddin’).

What “makes up” this journey to the big picture is as important though.

Any guesses on what that is?

Small steps.

I think they’re as essential as that grand big picture. These are the non-grand parts of your goal. In fact, this is where we mostly tend to stumble. Sacrifice, faith and faithfulness lie at the heart of every goal. And it’s tested first at the ground base of the everyday…in the small steps.

The small steps are what you won’t be recognized for. It’ll probably go unappreciated. At (many) times, it’s unrelated to your goal. Or it’ll leave you frustrated and tired. There are days when you’d struggle for self worth. And you’d struggle to hold on to your life’s mission. For the most part, it feels like a detour.

But here’s the thing – every part of your life’s mission is tested out in and through in those small steps. Including the viability and veracity of it.

So remember, small steps matter. Your big picture depends on it.